Powerful lip fur

Hello my thirsty friends. Sorry it has been awhile since my last post. More on that another time...

The merits of one's hair as the source of one's uncanny talents go all the way back to Biblical times when the judge Samson killed about a 1,000 Philistines in the book of Judges. The source of his strength? His long hair. (One must wonder what the super-hairy Esau's special gift must have been. We can all blame Cain for murdering him and thwarting the proliferation of follicle lore.)

In baseball, facial hair goes hand-in-hand with player superstition. If a player starts growing a beard and gets hot, the beard stays. The latest major leaguer to reconfirm the performance-enhacing merits of hair is New York Yankees first baseman Jason Giambi. These days, Mr. Giambi is putting up solid power numbers (18 HR, .532 SLG) and just missed being named to the final roster spot for the 2008 All-Star Game. The source of his strength: A mustache. A very bushy mustache. A very 70s-era porn star mustache.

Perhaps the best explanation of Giambi's strength comes from the American Mustache Institute (AMI). Aaron Perlut, executive director of the AMI notes that "... Giambi's powerful lip fur ... signifies great intellect, good looks, and the ability to stare down the most power of martial arts gurus." Also, check out this fabulous interview with Mr. Perlut from ESPN2.

And while we're at it, let's hear it for Walt Frazier and Keith Hernandez for helping out Emmit Smith with Just For Men hair color. Though his 'stache' WAS trash - he's now 'back in the game.' Could his Dancing With the Stars win be connected to his facial hair? Didn't fellow Dancing champ Apollo Anton Ono have a little soul patch too? There must be something to it.