the funny pages

It's difficult for me to decide which of the following stories made me laugh most today in The Indianapolis Star.

Here are the contestants:
1. Andre Carson holds 'news conference' about the tax stimulus checks. A news conference to talk about something that was implemented when he wasn't even in office. In fact, his late grandmother wasn't even around to vote on it either. When asked what his constituents should do with the stimulus he said, "I'm not a financial advisor." If you can vote in Indiana's 7th congressional district on May 6 - PLEASE vote for somebody other than Carson.

2. Bill Clinton speaks to Carmel High School, noting that "'Hillary believes America should look the way you look today,' he said. 'Despite race, gender, age, religion, we are all here together.' Diversity and the chance for new opportunities are what make Carmel High School so exceptional, he said."

One funny part of this is the picture of all the white kids clapping with a few Asian-American students thrown in for 'diversity.' Perhaps the funniest part is an online comment from a poster who writes (and I'm paraphrasing) "...the only time the words Carmel and diverse should be used in the same sentence is when the phrase is not is sandwiched in between."

3. And finally, from the Lifestyle section is about a letter to Annie's Mailbox from a mother who wonders if she should tell her husband that their daughter got a boob job. Dad is paying for daughter's wedding because she 'has no money.' Mom is afraid Dad will be mad and embarrassed when the buxum bride shows up in her strapless wedding gown in which 'everything is on display.' Man, where are the Wedding Crashers when you need them?